My friend, Carol, has inspired me to begin to post again.
Losing the baby was a horrible thing. I never thought I would experience that loss. I guess I was a bit over confident....three pregnancies, no problems, no miscarriages....it just never crossed my mind that this wasn't meant to be. In fact, I thought the complete opposite...."this (unplanned) baby is coming here for some reason," I thought. I actually felt really good about it; I thought everything was fine....afterall, I was sick, I threw up a few times; all the usual signs were there.
Hearing, "I'm sorry; there's no heartbeat" will forever be engrained in my memory and as much as I think I've moved passed it, I probably haven't as much as I would like to believe I have.
I have felt really bitter at the loss and it has been tougher to recover, emotionally, than I thought. I have stayed away from things I enjoy and I'm not sure why.
....on July 7 we got a call from Carol telling us that Doug had been in a terrible accident, it threw further perspective into our lives.
Albeit sad that we had lost a baby in the first trimester, it seemed to pale in comparison to his near fatal accident and what their family was about to experience for the next year.
I just read her blog and I couldn't believe that they're barely back in town and she is already blogging again and I thought, "well what's my problem? How come I can't seem to get back on my blog?"
I realized reading her words how it must be a bit therapeutic for her and really that is part of the greatness of journaling, and that is what a blog can replicate....a journal....so here I am--inspired at how she is moving forward, doing the things she enjoys and still running a household, raising kids and now nursing her husband back to health.
I promise to share photos and stories of recent events--not today! but soon!
Thanks to everyone's encouraging thoughts and words over the last month.....
Sunday, July 29, 2007
On My Way Back
Posted by Leslie at 6:03 PM
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1 comments:
Oh Leslie, my heart hurts for you. Your loss is real and painful no matter what you compare it to. I know what that baby meant to you. Ours being so obvious I've had to talk about it (over & over & over:). But that definately helps in the dealing process and having so much support and love has made all the difference. It has made me stronger and allowed me to grieve and laugh through all of this.
Yours is very much a private pain but thanks for sharing some of it with us and I hope it helps you.
Can you even believe what this year has had in store for both of us!
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